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LESSON 19 
UNDERSTANDING THE 3R's 

Why Understanding the 3Rs significant?

It is significant because resistance, resentment and revenge are the "barometer" to your emotional thermometer. As we have learned from science, emotions are trapped energy in the body that breaks down cells and destroys them from the inside out. These are emotions such as betrayal, condemnation, neglect, wrongdoing, jealousy, hate, judgement, prejudice, adultery, violence, and arguments. According to the National Institute of Health (NIH) Emotional information is stored through “packages” in our organs, tissues, skin, and muscles. These “packages” allow the emotional information to stay in our body parts until we can “release” it. Negative emotions in particular have a long-lasting effect on the body. 

 

1 Corinthians 10:13

"No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful [to His word—He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy]."

 

[ When I was a kid the big ticket item was how smart we were (IQ).  However, times have changed and with the advent of things like YouTube University (jk) information is available at our fingertips. As a matter of fact, like was a lot more simple with three ice-cream flavors (Strawberry, Chocolate and Vanilla), now there are 64 flavors +. These days, there are so many stimuli that intelligence is no longer as relevant as our Emotional Intelligence (EI) ].  

 

In this lesson you will learn about why understanding these three progressive emotional triggers of the 3Rs is so important? If for no other reason than your health and livelihood depend on it. We will learn how love and forgiveness are the perfect elixir to heal all things past, present and future. 

 

What does it mean by Understanding the 3Rs? 

In this lesson you will learn what the 3Rs represent and how harmful they are if you do not put them in check. We equip you with solutions to address them while dealing with negative emotions (Above the Line Thinking in Lesson 2). Resistance, Resentment and Revenge are the devils foothold to put you into the Chain of Bondage (Breaking the Chains of Bondage in Lesson 3).  In this lesson we will equip you with the 3Cs to help to combat these devastating emotional triggers. 

 

What’s at stake? 

 

Your health and your relationships are at stake! This lesson is a critical element to help you create long lasting and healthy relationships by learning how to implement a strategy of love and forgiveness. We have provided a matrix that walks you through a comprehensive process that helps to slow down the emotional process and create better choices to respond vs react. 

 

The Apostle Paul says in Romans Chapter 12, "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 

 

Let us help you to renew your mind with our tools and content that is practical and empowering utilizing God's word...

Tips/Nuggets 

In lesson 19 - Understanding the 3Rs we begin to explore the the most deadly and destructive patterns of behavior called Resentment, Resistance, and Revenge (3Rs).


BACKGROUND
But before we discuss the 3Rs, let’s give a little background first into why this is important. When I was growing up as a kid, we were most focused on our Intelligence or intelligence quotient (IQ). It mattered what we knew. We would compete based on things such as our ACT/SAT scores to get into college, or if you had a College degree determined the level of job you could quality for. Knowledge is what separated the playing field. And although a lot of that hasn’t changed. The rate of information and access has. Those earlier years were more simplified, for example, I had three flavors of ice cream to choose from: strawberry, chocolate and vanilla; whereas today it’s 64 flavors or more for choices. Consequently, we have more information coming at us than ever before. Today, what can’t a person find or solve with such things like Google, Siri, Alexa and YouTube University? According to J.W. Wilson, author of the Learning Code, “all information that exists in world is estimated to be doubling at the incredible rate of once every eighteen months. Consider that there are more than one trillion pages on the web now, with an amazing 82,000 new websites added every day; Facebook users share more than 250,000,000 pieces of information each minute, an 5,300,000 Google searches are made every second.” So, with all this being true, how do we survive, and more importantly thrive in today’s society? It all begins with our Emotional Intelligence (EI). Harvard conducted a study of their graduates and found that they were having trouble issues in the workforce. What they ended up finding out was that talent and skills (IQ) only equated for 20-25% of their success, while 75-80% was based on their attitude (EQ). In other words, it’s easier to train someone’s aptitude than their attitude.
Emotional Intelligence / Quotient (EI or EQ)
It’s no wonder we’re not really concerned over what someone knows anymore as opposed to how they handle all this information coming at them every second, every minute, and every hour of the day. Research shows the average adult human spends between 3.5 - 5.4 hours a day on their phone while anywhere between 60 to 344 times per day checking their phone.
So is it any wonder “why” we are becoming ever so EMOTIONALLY unstable? According to psychological research data, we are seeing serious consequences of this effect on our emotions. The data shows signs of heightened depressions, anxiety, irritability, mood swings, reduced tolerance for self and others, defiance, aggression, confusion, doubt, and fear due to so much stimuli coming at us. So what is the answer to this emotional rollercoaster?


BE AWARE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL THERMOSTAT OR THERMOMETER
What is an emotional thermostat or thermometer? It is a way we “check-in” with ourselves. You learned from Lesson 2, Above The Line Thinking was the “choice” between where you put your thoughts “above or below” the line, and those same thoughts become things (attitudes/behaviors), and then the “results” reflect. This is the first step to beginning to utilize your Emotional Thermostat or thermometer. Anything below the line thinking will create resentment, resistance and revenge (3Rs) that cost you.


Nugget #1 - How do you know when you’re in RESENTMENT? When you allow a “negative” event or circumstance to happen and you find yourself “attaching a negative meaning” to it. And instead of expressing how you feel, you push it down. It gets stored up. You find yourself “sabotaging” your life (i.e., arriving late to work, not keeping your word, refusing to call someone back, etc.). You have all the ear marks for ‘crying for attention.’ Your resentment wants to be healed. The only way to heal it is to address it! Express how and what you feel. You find yourself having “LOW ENERGY.” Here is where we begin to take our eyes off our PASSIONS and DREAMS.


Nugget #2 - How do you know when you’re in RESISTANCE? You begin thinking (Below the Line Thinking) and saying things like, I shoulda/woulda/coulda, I should, It should, I should be, I should have known by now, etc. It’s when you are going to the person who offended or hurt you. Or the person you offended or hurt. It’s making excuses. You find yourself having “DEPLETED ENERGY.” Here is where we lose focus and attention on our PASSION and DREAMS.


Nugget #3 - How do you know when you’re in REVENGE? You begin thinking (Below the Line Thinking) of ways to “get even.” And then these thoughts become your attitude, and then your behavior acted out. Often times you take this revenge out on yourself. This dangerous thought process often creates (i.e., self doubt, you never acknowledge yourself, not good enough, alcohol, drugs, stop taking care of yourself, addictions, etc.). You find yourself having “NO ENERGY.” Here is where all your PASSIONS and DREAMS DIE.
 

COSTS:
Breaks down relationships
Intimacy
Lose emotional connections (disconnected)

 

Going Deeper in the Word

As we discussed at the beginning of the week about the importance of the 3Rs on our Emotional Intelligence (EI), we will provide you with additional verses to help you elevate you to Above the Line Thinking.
Biblical Solutions to the 3Rs


1. Open, honest, authentic communication (self talk & to others)
* Non victim language
* Not a blame game
* Make someone else wrong and yourself right
2. Acceptance
3. Forgiveness
* Is for you
4. Visualize
* See in your mind what you want, not so much what is.
* Ask the Holy Spirit / God to help you


KEY VERSE:
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” Ephesians 4:31.
Jesus does not want us to hold bitter feelings toward others in our lives.
Open and Honest Communication

 

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another” (Ephesians 4:25) 
 

“Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18)

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29)


“Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices” (Colossians 3:9)

“For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” ( 1 Peter 3:10-12)

Above The Line Thinking

 

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8-9)

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2)

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7)

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2)


Forgiveness 
“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:21-22 (70 x 7))


“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32)

“He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust”

(Psalm 103:10-14)


“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6:37)

“Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13)


Visualize what you want with hope with no doubt

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (
Psalm 51:10)
 

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31)

 

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
 

Resources

Take Advantage of the Resources we have put together for you!

When you utilize the workbook along with these resources, you will create lasting and undeniable results! 

Click HERE

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