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LESSON 20
ASSUMING AND STORY WRITING
Assuming and Story Writing
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2.
Assuming and story writing is significantly dangerous because you do not have all the facts. Therefore, you are inaccurate, presumptuous and without proof. The danger comes when we “assume”, we make ourselves right in our own eyes. We take on a prideful posture of knowing without knowledge which is foolish. Assuming and story writing means we fill in the blanks and make up a story about what has happened rather than finding out the truth. The brain can only take in 256K bits of data at a time. Therefore, the brain will, by default, delete, distort, and generalize what’s important to us in any given situation. We do this daily, for example, I believe that in all cases it’s good to give every person the benefit of the doubt, as not everything is as it appears.
Staying away from making wrong judgments is just the beginning to loving our neighbors. I’ve never known anyone who regretted thinking the best of others, but I do know of many who regret making false assumptions. Our misguided feelings lead to misguided thoughts, which caused misguided responses. The result equals ruined relationships. Often these assumptions are unfounded and a figment of our imaginations.
How can you avoid assuming and story writing? Through Christ, we have a mind that is well balanced and considers things in context. Our sound mind is stronger than our feelings, but we must give our thoughts time to catch up with our emotions. A good way to do this is to pause and think clearly about the conclusions we’ve made. When an assumption rears its ugly head, simply take a moment to ask if this assumption is consistent with your friends normal behavior. If it isn’t, this would be a good time to ask a few more questions: Is my friend OK? Have I done anything to hurt her? How can I pray for her? Do I believe the best before assuming the worst? Repeat the pause until the assumption passes. The result equals positive relationships.
Today, choose to not assume anything.
Going Deeper in the Word
When you assume and story write, you will treat it as fact resulting in hurt and confusion. This “habit” often times creates division, rather than unity and peace that the Lord calls us to have within the body of Christ. 
Here is a perfect example in God‘s word where this created war- read 2 Samuel 10 below:
David Defeats the Ammonites
10 In the course of time, the king of the Ammonites died, and his son Hanun succeeded him as king. 2 David thought, “I will show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash, just as his father showed kindness to me.” So David sent a delegation to express his sympathy to Hanun concerning his father.
When David’s men came to the land of the Ammonites, 3 the Ammonite commanders said to Hanun their lord, “Do you think David is honoring your father by sending envoys to you to express sympathy? Hasn’t David sent them to you only to explore the city and spy it out and overthrow it?” 4 So Hanun seized David’s envoys, shaved off half of each man’s beard, cut off their garments at the buttocks, and sent them away.
5 When David was told about this, he sent messengers to meet the men, for they were greatly humiliated. The king said, “Stay at Jericho till your beards have grown, and then come back.”
6 When the Ammonites realized that they had become obnoxious to David, they hired twenty thousand Aramean foot soldiers from Beth Rehob and Zobah, as well as the king of Maakah with a thousand men, and also twelve thousand men from Tob.
7 On hearing this, David sent Joab out with the entire army of fighting men. 8 The Ammonites came out and drew up in battle formation at the entrance of their city gate, while the Arameans of Zobah and Rehob and the men of Tob and Maakah were by themselves in the open country.
9 Joab saw that there were battle lines in front of him and behind him; so he selected some of the best troops in Israel and deployed them against the Arameans. 10 He put the rest of the men under the command of Abishai his brother and deployed them against the Ammonites. 11 Joab said, “If the Arameans are too strong for me, then you are to come to my rescue; but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will come to rescue you. 12 Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.”
13 Then Joab and the troops with him advanced to fight the Arameans, and they fled before him. 14 When the Ammonites realized that the Arameans were fleeing, they fled before Abishai and went inside the city. So Joab returned from fighting the Ammonites and came to Jerusalem.
15 After the Arameans saw that they had been routed by Israel, they regrouped. 16 Hadadezer had Arameans brought from beyond the Euphrates River; they went to Helam, with Shobak the commander of Hadadezer’s army leading them.
17 When David was told of this, he gathered all Israel, crossed the Jordan and went to Helam. The Arameans formed their battle lines to meet David and fought against him. 18 But they fled before Israel, and David killed seven hundred of their charioteers and forty thousand of their foot soldiers.[a] He also struck down Shobak the commander of their army, and he died there. 19 When all the kings who were vassals of Hadadezer saw that they had been routed by Israel, they made peace with the Israelites and became subject to them.
So the Arameans were afraid to help the Ammonites anymore.
In this story, David tries to show kindness to Hanun the King by sending men to console him after the death of a Hanun’s father. But others in Hanun’s confidence questioned that motive, assuming that the men sent by David to console Hanun actually intended to spy out the land. The so-called “spies” were then mistreated, and the result was a retaliatory war.  Even though David’s motive was to bless Hanun, assumption and story writing happened for evil and war broke out.
God’s word instructs us, “ Therefore, do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts; and then each man’s praise will come to him from God”
1 Corinthians 4:5.
Love calls us to regard others with hope rather than suspicion. Out of our love for God we should grant them the same mercy and the same grace that we want to be granted ourselves. By stopping the cycle of assumption and story writing, and leaning into the one who extends grace and love to us on a daily basis.
Real Talk
There is a danger in assumptions: they can destroy relationships. Before we know it, even without proof, what we assume becomes our truth. Our misguided feelings lead to misguided thoughts, which cause misguided responses. The results: ruined relationships. Often these assumptions are unfounded and figments of our imagination.
Assumptions block possibilities and most importantly when it comes to your mood, assumptions can create spirals of negative thinking. This form of thinking creates doubt, fear, confusion, anger, sadness and black-and-white only thought process. Because of this thinking, our thoughts create our feelings, create our actions and if your head is full of negative assumptions, you are more likely going to trigger yourself into repeating cycles of negativity.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself if you find you are falling into assuming and Storywriting:
1. What facts do I have to prove this thought is true?
2. Do I believe the best before assuming the worst?
3. What would life be like if the opposite of this assumption were true?
4. What if I don’t need to know the answer about this situation or person? How much stress could I relieve myself of by just agreeing in this moment, to not know what I don’t know?
Assumptions are thoughts we are so used to making that they can go by without us even noticing. The key is to be mindful, to continuously draw your attention to the present and how you are thinking and feeling in that exact moment. You will learn to train your thoughts and you will find your assumptions will become less and less present. Relinquish control and know that you have the power to change what you are assuming into a perspective that is open and understanding.
Resources
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