Lesson Song & Prayer
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Why are Conscious Conversations significant?
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? James4:1
It is significant to bring awareness around how we communicate with ourselves and others. For example, if there is something I need or need to know, I ask. How often do you need help and don’t ask for it? How many times would it have been helpful to ask for support, but instead, you made up a story about why you couldn’t or shouldn’t ask for it? Because all too often, we don’t ask. Instead, we assume the worst or create stories of why not. We then set ourselves up for disappointment and failure if we don’t ask for exactly what we need. Communication is not only asking for what you need, but also the details of what you’re asking for. Each of us has an opportunity to respond instead of reacting, to listen instead of assuming, and to ask and be real about our answers.
As we deepen in our own accountability, we make it a point to be curious, compassionate, and open to learning, growing, and asking for what we need. We understand that assumptions, silence, and manipulation are at the root of miscommunication and controversy. Have you ever realized that making assumptions about others reveals more about what’s in your heart than it does about the other person? They reflect us, it uncovers what’s inside of us. It’s the evil nature of our being that prompts us to be quick to assume the worst of others.
As we deepen in our accountability, we make it a point to be curious, compassionate, and open to learning, growing, and asking for what we need. We then realize that assumptions, silence, and manipulation are at the root of miscommunication and controversy.
What will support any relationship is clear, complete and conscious conversations, when upsets or breakdowns occur.
The communication of Believers is ultimately meant to glorify God, It is an act of worship.
Conscious communication is key to improve and maintain relationships. The opposite of this, is poor communication. This route can and most often is the cause of pain and brokenness. God who created us for relationships has left us an example in the Bible by how we communicate with Him. It’s through prayer, this is showing there are two sides to an exchange of information which is what conscious communication is – listening and speaking.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” It doesn’t matter what words come out of our mouth, or how silently we listen to another person, if our hearts are not in the right place, the relationship will not progress. This scripture is significance because it speaks of the importance of guarding our heart, because all our words and actions flow from it and what we treasure will drive our choices. When we have selfish ambition and not looking to the interests of others, our communication will not be built on the right foundation. Before you have an important conversation, ask yourself what your motive is and be honest about your answer.
As we deepen in our accountability, we make it a point to be curious, compassionate, and open to learning, growing and asking for what we need. We then realize that assumptions, silence and manipulation, are the root of miscommunication and controversy.
As you go through this week, think about what life would look like if you were honest, open, and vulnerable to ask for what you needed. Also, think about how you listen to the other’. Are you gentle and patient? What does your body language communicate to the other person? When we are consciously aware of our own heart space I believe we will then be able to communicate effectively.
Going Deeper in the Word
Let’s take a deep dive and see what the word of God says about communicating effectively:
Proverbs 15:23: “A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims foolishness.”
Proverbs 25:11: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”
Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
James 1:19-20: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
Treat others how you want to be treated:
Matthew 7:12 tells us “Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them.
Practice forgiveness. Ideally if you have been hurt, offended or have made another feel these feelings, the best plan of action is the 24 hour rule. Simply confront the situation within 24 hours to resolve any misunderstanding or miscommunication to salvage the relationship.
Ephesians 4:32 tells us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Psalm 141:3 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!
Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
Proverbs 12:18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
2 Timothy 2:16 But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness,
Proverbs 18:13 If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.
Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.
Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Proverbs 16:23 The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips.
Jeremiah 1:9 Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me, “Behold, I have put my words in your mouth.
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 13:17 A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a faithful envoy brings healing.
Colossians 3:8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
Matthew 15:18-19 But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.
2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,
1 Corinthians 2:14 The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.
Proverbs 18:20-21 From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Amos 3:7 “For the Lord God does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.
Matthew 12:34 You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
Proverbs 18:17 The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.
Proverbs 15:28 The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.
Proverbs 20:3 It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.
James 1:26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.
Proverbs 21:23 Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.
Matthew 12:36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.
Our ways of communicating have the power to uplift, strengthen, and help those around us.
At the same time our words also have the power to demoralize, and even destroy those around us. Conscious Communication is key to avoid the traps and snares the enemy sets up against relationships. We hood you meditate on the scripture provided and allow the Holy Spirit transform and renew your hearts.
Take Advantage of the Resources we have put together for you!
When you utilize the workbook along with these resources, you will create lasting and undeniable results!