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Lesson 5

Why is Your Relationship with Your Word significant?

It is significant because your word represents you and defines your agreements by how you show up in the world. Your word provides evidence as to whether or not you are a man or woman of integrity moving towards or away from your vision. We have a  saying, “Often harsh, always fair based on results,” your life will reflect the words you use and the meaning they hold. Being impeccable with your word means guarding your thoughts (Above the Line Thinking), emotions (attitude), and words or actions (behaviors) in a way that keeps you in alignment with your authentic-self and with God.


The reason this is so important is because your words have “power.”   Proverbs 18:21 (AMPC),“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].”

James 3:8-12 (MSG) “This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father (Above the Line Thinking); with the same tongues we curse (Below the Line Thinking) the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and blackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?”

Seriously, you may still think about the words someone said (Below the Line Thinking) to you that almost destroyed you. I myself have lost every bit of self-dignity and self-control just because of what a significant other or family member has said to me. I’m not proud of those moments. I immediately wanted to cry, yell, scream, defend myself and even just give up on life (my vision) all together because their words meant that much to me. If this is you, you’re not alone.

Words that took years to shake off, or maybe you are still trying to forget. Or maybe it’s you that hurt someone else with your words. Words hurt. And they do so in a way that’s under the surface leaving no visible wounds. But the impact they have can be life-changing and not necessarily in a good way. However, our words can also speak of life, healing, and health. Remember “thoughts” (Above or Below the Line Thinking) become things, in this case our words.

What is Your Relationship with Your Word? Are you walking in integrity with your word? When you’re impeccable with your word you win favor with yourself, others, and God because you are in alignment with all three. Your words define your agreements. Are you a fickle pickle who’s unreliable and untrustworthy or can others depend on you because you’re trustworthy? Is your current relationship with your word costing you loved ones, friendships, acquaintances,  promotions and or opportunities? If so, what is your word worth to you? Your word has value. “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;” 1 Peter 3:10 ESV

 Here are the three greatest questions:

1.     How do you honor your word with yourself, others, and God?

2.     If your word is a relationship with yourself, others and God, how would you rate each relationship and why? Rate each relationship on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being very healthy and 1 being very unhealthy.

3.     What are three values or boundaries you can set to honor your word to yourself, others, and God?


As you begin to dive into these questions, be sure to 1) Identify your values and set boundaries 2) Identify “triggers” and “patterns” where you frequently break promises and 3) Identify where and how you use “yes” and “no.” Does your yes mean yes and your no mean no?


When you begin to apply Above the Line Thinking you realize what words you use and how you use those words to honor yourself, others, and God. It makes all the difference in the world. Here are a few scriptures to meditate on when it comes to a relationship with your word.   


“Let no corrupt communication (Below the Line Thinking) proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying (Above the Line Thinking), that it may bring grace to the hearers” (KJV, Ephesians 4:29)


“Let your speech always be (Above the Line Thinking) gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (ESV, Colossians 4:6).


“It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this (Below the Line Thinking) defiles a person.” (ESV, Matthew 15:11).

8.5x11ORIGINAL(Paperback)MAWM4Believers Workbook  Lesson 1-29.png


Having a greater relationship with your word requires the following three elements:

  1. Intimacy

    • Openness

      • 2 Timothy 2:15

      • Proverbs 12:22

      • 2 Corinthians 4:2

      • Proverbs 28:13

    • Honest (transparency)

      • Proverbs 19:1

      • John 8:32

      • Philippians 4:8-9

    • Vulnerability

      • 1 Thessalonians 5:22-24

      • 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

      • James 5:16

  2. Consistency

    • Repetition & Progress

      • 1 Corinthians 15:58

      • Revelation 3:15-16

      • James 1:4

  3. Persistency

    • Deliberate & Diligent & Decisive

      • Proverbs 13:4

      • Ecclesiastes 9:10

      • 2 Peter 1:10


1. Intimacy. As with any great relationship it requires “intimacy.” So, intimacy with your word is allowing yourself and others to draw closer to you through “transparency, openness, and vulnerability.” There are no ‘failures’ only ‘learnings.’

“There is therefore now no condemnation (failures) for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1, KJV). Only learnings:


Proverbs 24:16

Romans 5:8

James 1:2-4

Psalm 145:14

It is the courage to look at the ‘good, the bad and the ugly.’ It is progress over perfection.

Intimacy = [ into - me - I - see ]

Therefore, being intimate, is like an “all access pass” to your “authentic-self,” the good, the bad and the ugly. This type of beingness takes faith. This type of beingness takes courage. This type of beingness takes trust. This type of beingness takes bravery.

BE…faithful & hopeful (above the line thinking)

Instead of…fearful

BE…courageous & brave (above the line thinking)

Instead of…cowardly

BE…trusting & confident (above the line thinking)

Instead of…doubting

2. Consistency is walking the walk and talking the talk over time. It’s not being “Luke-warm.” It’s not where your yes means maybe and your no means possibly. It’s where your no means no, and yes means yes. This type of beingness takes intentionality. This type of beingness takes purpose. This type of beingness takes thoughtfulness.

BE…intentional (above the line thinking)

Instead of…haphazard & accidental

BE…purposeful (above the line thinking)

Instead of…aimless & inconsistent

BE…thoughtful (above the line thinking)

Instead of…self-centered & inconsiderate

3. Persistency is practicing who you want to BE in relation to your word daily. It’s repetition of your beingness. By practicing your beingness persistency your relationship with your word will become deliberate and diligent, unshakable and immovable, and dependable, reliable and trustworthy.

BE…deliberate & diligent & decisive (above the line thinking)

Instead of…confused & hesitant & indecisive

BE…unshakable & immovable (above the line thinking)

Instead of…half-hearted & fickle

BE…dependable & reliable & trustworthy (above the line thinking)

Instead of…lazy & unreliable & suspicious

4. Lastly, remember your ‘identity’ is your ‘beingness’ repeated over and over again, which shapes what you believe about yourself (Belief). BE willing to explore intimacy, consistency, and persistency when it comes to your relationship with your word to yourself, others and God. By doing so, you are demonstrating your highest self of AUTHENTICITY and ALIGNMENT.



First thing to assess how you are with your word.

  1. How often do you break your word with yourself, God and others?

  2. Who do you break your promises with?

  3. Is there a specific pattern or relationships that have a similar negative outcome because of you not keeping your word?

  4. Can you be honest and set boundaries so you don’t have to compromise word, integrity, or your time?

  5. Are you avoiding a courageous conversation by not addressing the issue(s)?

  6. Would you like to have a different result?

  7. What would your most honest and trusted advisor/teacher invite you to do different or better?

  8. What is the new decision or action you will take? What are you going to do and when will you do it?

Real Talk

Not keeping our word will affect our relationships with ourselves and others. It breaks our honor and integrity with God. Being impeccable with our word means guarding our thoughts and words in a way that keeps you in alignment with your relationship in and to your word.

When we don't keep our word it can cost us:

  • Missed opportunities.

  • Damaged relationships.

  • Our reputation by showing up as an unreliable person.

  • Conflict with others.

  • Experiencing guilt or remorse.

  • Devaluing of ourselves and others by breaking priceless boundaries

  • Our health

  • Our wealth

  • Our generational prosperity

  • Decreases your personal power

  • Chips away at your sense of self

  • Sabotage your vision and purpose God has for you

Our God is big on keeping promises.

"God is not a man, that he should lie. . . . Does he promise and not fulfill?" (Numbers 23:19). Joshua answers this rhetorical question in his farewell speech to Israel’s leaders. "You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the LORD your God gave you has failed.

Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed" (Joshua 23:14). The Biblical record is full of promises kept. Jesus was the fulfillment of God’s best promise, and someday soon, we will see the ultimate, final promise – eternal life with Him.

Until that day, it’s clear that God means for us to be people of our word. God tells us that it is better not to make a promise (vow) than to make one and not keep it. Jesus exhorts us: "Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ " (Matthew 5:37).

Make it a point not to swear or pinkie promise or make elaborate contingency clauses. There is no such things as a "white lie."

Our word should mean something.


Take Advantage of the Resources we have put together for you!

When you utilize the workbook along with these resources, you will create lasting and undeniable results! 

Click HERE

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